As I’m sitting here on my couch about to write this post, Marley and Me is playing on my TV. I forgot how much I love this movie; it’s so sweet. Totally ruining my sarcastic/bitchy vibe for this post, but i’ll do my best to carry on…
For those of you who workout, some of the following statements will be extremely familiar to you. If you don’t workout, and you’re an offender of the following statements, please don’t be offended. I still love you, so don’t hate me! 😉
8 Things Girls Who Workout are Tired of Hearing:
1. “Come out and drink with usssssss! You’re no fun.”
– Besides the fact that alcohol makes you fat faster than a Lamborghini down the Autobahn, you just accused me of being no fun. Bye! Sitting at a table getting red-faced and puffy, every night at 5 p.m., is not my idea of fun.
2. “There’s no way I could work out like that. You’re literally crazy.”
– Yup, you’re right. Bat-shit crazy…. NOT. But in your defense, I didn’t think I could do it either. But look at me now.
3. This Facebook status: “Ugh get out of here with your gym selfies. No one cares!”
– Hmmmm….clearly you do care. You took the time tell the world how bitter you are.
4. “Ew don’t stand next to me. You make me look bad.”
– You’re kidding right? You just shunned me out of a picture? Cool. (*snaps a selfie)
5. “Does this outfit make me look fat?”
– Do you need glasses? Because last time I checked, I was not a man. And more specifically, not your man. No need to impress me. If you feel fat in it, don’t wear it.
6. “I just have like zero motivation…none, whatsoever.”
– Please refer to numbers 3, 4 and 5. There’s motivation. STARING RIGHT AT YOU.
7. “Ew how do you eat that? Wait, you’re actually gonna eat that? OMG y’all look, she’s eating that!”
– When I pick up a dessert and eat it, it’s almost as if people have seen a dinosaur walking in their backyard. Or perhaps a unicorn crossing the street. Either way, they can’t believe it. They also can’t believe how much food I can put away. And by put away, I mean eat. Just ’cause I’m small and in shape, don’t mean I can’t grub, capeesh?
8. “Hahahahahaha omg I’ve gotten so big. Hahahahaha. Gross.” Proceeded by five other jokes about how “fat” she feels/looks.
– I really have nothing mean to say about this, because it breaks my heart. I’ve been there. I used to joke about my body because it made me feel better. It’s how I coped; and I can guarantee 9 times out of 10, the girl who jokes most about her body is the one who’s most miserable. All jokes aside, your body is no laughing matter. If you’re unhappy, fix it. Don’t hide behind the jokes; take charge, girl! Xo