Along with about 329857350385763587976 other people in this world, Christmas has always been one of my favorite holidays. (Valentine’s Day is my favorite. I know, I’m weird.)
I love the smells of Christmas, I love the decorations, I love shopping for my friends and family, and I love the delectable holiday food. But most importantly, I love the traditions. I love my family’s traditions. They’ve been the same for as long as I can remember.
But this year was different. Really different…
For the first time, in over 10 years, my family didn’t spend Christmas at “home.”
It was expected. I knew what was coming. I knew my parents were no longer living in the house where my sister and I grew up. I knew home was a completely different town now. I knew the new house was still under construction, and we’d be spending the holidays at my grandmother’s. I knew all of that. I was prepared.
But I just wasn’t quite prepared for the overwhelming sense of displacement felt from spending Christmas in an unusual setting.
I spent half the day yesterday feeling sorry for myself; wishing we were back in Midland, in our old house. I wanted my own bed, I wanted our own kitchen, I wanted our old traditions back. And I may or may not have had a slight panic attack.
But then it hit me, in the midst of baking my cinnamon roll cake, while stumbling to find the proper bakeware in an unfamiliar kitchen…
Mattie, pull yourself together. You are a woman of God who has been given the Grace to live a healthy, fulfilling life. This night is NOT ABOUT YOU.
I love when those moments happen. It’s like I’m talking to myself… But I know who’s really doing the talking. 🙂
Millions of people in the world spent Christmas Eve with no family, no house, no bed, no food, and no traditions. And there I was…sad because of a little change.
My parents raised me better than that.
So today I woke up with a happy heart. Happy to be alive. Happy to be with family. Happy to wake up warm, in a house, in a bed. I woke up wanting to share the light He shared with us. Because THAT is what Christmas is about.
Yes, I still miss our familiar traditions; but I have a feeling the new ones will be even better.
I can’t wait to see what this new year has in store for my family and me. And I’m so grateful I get to share it with all of you.
May your days be merry and BRIGHT, friends! (& don’t forget to keep sharing that light!) Xo
Photography: Kristin Rottman