A few months ago, I blogged some seriously-intimate details. I was terrified to share this imperfection with all of you. But the responses I received (and continue to receive) have helped me more than you know.
So as promised, I’m expanding on my Mental Fitness Series.
I have read multiple articles lately regarding people’s journey with anxiety. Their struggles, their day-to-day routines, their heartbreaking stories. All so different, yet all equally sad. Sad because there’s other people out there experiencing the same gut-wrenching side effects of this illness. And I know exactly how they’re feeling.
I can’t stress enough how different everyone’s journey with anxiety can be. Some people experience anxiety in high-stress situations, others suffer from social anxiety, some struggle with PTSD or OCD, and some live in constant fear.
So for the sake of this Mental Fitness Series, I want to share what MY anxiety feels like.
My anxiety (sometimes) makes waking up in the morning feel scarier than climbing Mt. Everest…naked. My anxiety feels like someone turned on a fan inside of my chest; and everyone else can see it spinning, but no one cares enough to turn it off. I just feel it, and succumb to the spinning; and then wait for it to stop. #deepbreaths
My anxiety feels like a ball of doom, inside my stomach, waiting to get out and rain hell on me. It feels like my heart beating out of my chest. It feels like a weighted blanket wrapped completely around me. It feels like body aches, and stomach aches, and random dizzy spells accompanied by compulsive sweating…and tears.
My anxiety makes my life tough. But nothing worth having comes easy (ESPECIALLY for me).
My anxiety has blessed me with a keen sense of emotion; and it has given me the ability to really understand what it’s like to truly love myself. I’ve learned to give myself grace, and treat others with the utmost respect. I’ve learned no relationship will ever come easy for me. I’ve learned alone time is absolutely necessary for my sanity, and I’ve learned lying down outside cures my panic attacks in about thirty minutes flat.
Anxiety is a bitch. But she’s one hell of a teacher.
And I’m learning everything there is to know about her. Slowly, but surely. <3